One of the most exciting moments a woman can experience during pregnancy is when you see those two lines on a pregnancy test. Actually giving birth is more amazing, but it all starts that moment you realize you are pregnant.
Immediately, you start to wonder what gender your baby will be and anticipate your belly growing. You’ll also be excited to let everyone know and for those nagging questions about when you will get pregnant to come to an end.
We’ve been taught that after the 12th-week mark the chances of something going wrong go down. As soon as you reach that point you feel like you can take a sigh of relief.
I am not going to go into details on how my miscarriage happened. It is different for everyone and telling you a story won’t necessarily help you or someone you know overcome this experience.
I’ll just mention that I was at my 16th-week mark, delivered at home, and our little boy lived for about an hour.
Yes, it is one of the most difficult things a woman can experience, but you can become a stronger person from it.
Here are some things I learned from this experience:
Don’t Expect Everyone to Understand What You Are Going Through
Not everyone has had the experience of losing a pregnancy, so do not expect everyone to understand how you are feeling.
This includes your significant other. If your partner was excited for the pregnancy like you were, then he will be going through his own healing process.
Keep that in mind and don’t take it personally if he needs his space.
After you both heal from this experience it can help to go back to doing things that you enjoyed doing together. It is important to reconnect before attempting to get pregnant again.
Don’t Let People’s Negative Comments Get to You
People will always have something to say about anything.
They might say things like, “You shouldn’t have been walking up stairs” or “You shouldn’t have been exercising so much.”
Whatever the case may be if someone says something negative it is best to just let it go. Giving their comment energy with a response will only make you feel worse.
Do Not Blame Yourself
If you had a spontaneous miscarriage then there is no way that it is your fault. For whatever reason, your body decided that this needed to happen.
Placing the blame on yourself will drive you crazy. Trust me, I went through a phase where I thought I did something wrong and it did nothing but make me feel worse.
Find things that make you happy and stay positive as much as you possibly can.
Don’t Fear Getting Pregnant Again
If you really want to have a child then obviously you’re going to have to get over the fear of getting pregnant again.
For some, it might mean trying again within a few months, but for others, it might take longer.
It helps to talk to someone about it. This way it is not bottled up inside and you’re able to heal a lot quicker.
Time Heals All Wounds
At first, it might be difficult to talk about it without getting emotional, but I promise you that time does heal wounds. That is if you let it.
Some women have trouble talking about their experience with miscarriage even years after it happened. Cry all that you need to, talk to a friend who will listen, but deal with it then. You don’t want to keep dealing with it for the rest of your life.
Someone once told me that they didn’t think they would be able to handle something like this. I responded to her saying, “You just have to”.
This experience taught me to persevere and that life can be beautiful after an unfortunate event.
A Rainbow After the Storm
My story ended up having a happy ending. Two years after this experience I was fortunate enough to give birth to a healthy baby girl. She is my rainbow baby.
If you are not familiar with that term, it’s when you have a child after losing one first.
If you found this post helpful, please share it with those that may be going through a miscarriage or something similar. One of the first things I did during my recovery was search for women online who were talking about their experience.
There are online forums where you can get support and words of encouragement if you feel like you need it.
Have you ever had a similar experience? If so, what helped you overcome it?